where i am on wednesdays at 9pm

I'll tell you where I am: I'm watching Lost. Best. Show. Ever.

There really isn't anything profound about this post. I'm just really enjoying the show this year - one of the few shows that I believe keeps getting better and better.

Last week we installed a new part-time pastor at our congregation. It's been awhile since I had heard that service, and I had forgotten one of my favorite bits, which comes as part of a question to the congregation:

"Will you regard him/her as a servant of Christ and a steward of the mysteries of God?"

Honestly, that's kind of a weird phrase: "a steward of the mysteries of God." I feel about it the way I feel about having earned a Master of Divinity degree - that's it's rather a stretch to imply that I have mastered Divinity in any way. Odd name. Same idea here: a steward of the mysteries of God. It's very Harry-Potter-esque. Actually, I think I love that phrase. Such a beautiful and bizarre and somehow, completely appropriate name for what pastors do (though we ought to remember we're not the only stewards around).

I think this is why I like Lost: because I like the idea of being a steward of mysteries. Nothing is more mysterious than this show. I love not having the answers. I love that each week ends with Beloved and I turning to each other and saying, " what the hell?" Good stuff.

CRASH.

It's been awhile since I completely, totally, and thoroughly hit the wall on a Sunday afternoon.  But today...

Worship included welcoming new members, temple talks on our global ministry for Epiphany, installing a new part-time pastor, and a baptism.  After typing that, I realize it doesn't sound like much.  But it was.  

I will be retreating to the comfort of my flannel-sheeted bed and watching a full hour of the Simpsons.  Finally time to crash.  Amen to that.

A Cabin Fever Friday Five

Singing Owl has cabin fever - and she's not the only one. Today's Friday Five:

Here in snow country we are settled in to what is a very long stretch of potentially boring days. The holidays are over. It is a very long time till we will get outside on a regular basis. The snow that seemed so beautiful at first is now dirty and the snow banks are piling up. Our vehicles are all the same shade of brownish grey, but if we go to the car wash our doors will freeze shut. People get grumpy. Of course, not everyone lives in a cold climate, but even in warmer places the days till springtime can get long. Help! Please give us five suggestions for combating cabin fever and staying cheerful in our monochromatic world!

1. Hope, thy name is ipod.
Okay, it doesn't have to be via ipod, but my surest solution to cabin fever (to many problems, actually), is music. For cabin fever, I recommend the elusive Ricky Martin/Coldplay/Will Smith/Indigo Girls/J.S. Bach/Aaron Copland combination. If you happen to find yourself at home alone, I would also recommend singing along with your favorite Broadway production (I enjoy The Sound of Music, followed by some selections from Chicago and topped off with a few numbers from Avenue Q.) Sing it loud. Sing it proud. The neighbors will get over it.

2. Brain Candy. Everybody needs it. You know it's true.
For some reason, that wintery-grey-stuck-at-home feeling significantly ups my need for stupid television programs, silly movies, and easy-to-read books. I watch and read the more serious stuff too. But a few episodes of Sex and the City, or a movie like Stepbrothers (warning: not for the faint of heart), or the newest Mary Higgins Clark mystery are good for the cabin fevery soul. A little escape, even if only in your mind. No shame in that.

3. Knit like a maniac.
The knitting part of this might just be me. But, in addition to enjoying the knitting itself, I enjoy doing something that produces results. Admittedly, this might be as much a result of pastoral work as it is cabin fever. But since my other results-oriented release mechanism is gardening, which isn't much of a winter activity, I have to find a substitute. I feel less 'stuck' when I can look at something I created.

4. Get. Out.
This year, Beloved and I decided to get out of town immediately after Christmas. We did it on a budget - frequent flier miles and a condo shared with family, making most of our own meals and mostly relaxing instead of indulging in expensive actitives. And it made all the difference. We saw the sun (an infrequent winter visitor in these here parts). We hung out with great family. We slept in and stayed up late. But mostly, we were simply not here. We can't afford to do this every year, but if you can pull it off every once in awhile - totally worthwhile.

5. When all else fails, wear yellow.
I kid you not. Wear something bright and cheerful. Usher in spring on your shoulders, if not in the rest of the world. Works for me.

preach it, mr. president

Some weeks I wonder what on earth I am going to say about the assigned text for Sunday.

Some weeks I wonder what the community needs most to hear: words of challenge, hope, comfort, justice, or all of the above.

Some weeks the sermon practically writes itself.

This week, I suspect our new president may have beat us preachers at our own game.

Amen to that.

(And by the way, that benediction, Pastor Lowery? Spectacular.)

Friday Five: Take Me, Baby, or Leave Me

Okay, it's still Thursday. (Hey, guess what? It's my birthday!) But I'm gone at an all-day meeting tomorrow, so I'm doing the Friday Five early.

Five things people should know about me...

1. Yes, I am a pastor; and no, that's not the only thing I am.

I know pastors who think of themselves most fundamentally in that way: as pastors. Part of me admires the fullness of that commitment. And part of me thinks there's something wrong with that single-mindedness. Yes, I am a pastor. I love being a pastor. But I also love being a daughter, and a wife, and a friend, and a reader, and a goofy dancer in my underwear at home (oops! too much there) and a lot of other things. I find that people often talk about nothing else but church around me. Mostly, that makes me want to scream: I CARE ABOUT OTHER THINGS THAN CHURCH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, DON'T YOU WATCH GREY'S ANATOMY OR LOST OR READ NEWSWEEK OR SOMETHING, ANYTHING ELSE WE COULD TALK ABOUT? PLEASE?

2. I love teaching.

Worship, too. I love that. But teaching - there's just something about helping people understand at a new level, or watching them put some pieces together, or helping open up a piece of scripture in a new way. That's good stuff.

3. I actually enjoy cleaning the bathroom.

It's weird. I am aware. But I enjoy the "it's clean, it looks clean, it smells clean, and I did that in only 20 minutes" aspect of housecleaning. It's a good antedote to pastoral work, which isn't particularly results-based. I do enjoy planting seeds. But every once in awhile, it's nice to see some growth. And I like things to be clean. Insofar as this is possible.

4. I don't hike. Or camp.

I realize this will horrify many people, especially in the nature-loving area of the country I call home. Too bad. This is an anonymous blog, and I feel like being honest. I don't like hiking. I've never really been camping, and I have no desire to go. I have no shame about this.

5. I am an introvert.

A surprising number of pastors are, as I understand it. I've gotten much better about being extroverted when I need to be over the past ten years. But when it comes down to it, I need alone time. Doesn't have to be much, but I do need it. I love reading and knitting and all kinds of interior, quiet things. I struggle to balance the needs of an introvert and the demands of pastor-work, but so far it's going okay.

Pumpkin Scones...three days late

I finally figured out the blog problem, so now I'm a.) relieved and b.) posting a recipe I meant to post on Friday. I *heart* these scones.

PUMPKIN SCONES

2 1/4 cups flour
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. allspice
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 cup chilled butter
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup canned pumpkin
1/3 cup milk

Combine dry ingredients in a bowl, cut in butter until mixture is crumbly. Combine egg, pumpkin, and milk, and stir well; add to dry ingredients. Stir until moistened, then turn out onto floured board and knead until smooth. Cut into 8-12 wedges. Bake at 400 for 12-15 minutes.

argh.

Some nights, like, let's say, Sunday nights, you just want to do something brainless like mess around with your blog template.

And then, somehow, the blog gets completely messed up.

I find that the best thing to do in this situation is to go to bed. Try again tomorrow.

So, good night.

Friday Five: Pancakes!

A light-hearted Friday Five from Sophia at RevGals (and the first one I've done in quite awhile...):

Last week Sally gave us a beautiful, spiritually reflective Friday Five, so it's time for something light and fluffy (literally). It's inspired by the fact that as I write this my dear spouse TechnoGuy, with the assistance of daughter Ladybug, is making a batch of chocolate chip pancakes with two Christmas presents. One is the Knott's Berry Farm mix which came along with jam, boysenberry syrup, and biscuit mix from my aunt (we ended up with two sets, since my parents passed theirs on to avoid sweet and carb-y temptation). The other is the large size Black and Decker electric skillet he was thrilled that I got him online -- our trusty wedding present normal size one still works at going on 20 years, but the Teflon is getting worn, and he wanted more cooking space. So pull up a chair to the kitchen table and tell us all about your pancake preferences.

1. Scratch or mix? Buttermilk or plain?

Krusteaz mix all the way. I'm not a morning person, so there is no "scratch" anything in the mornings. Plus that mix is too good to bother messing with anything else.

2. Pure and simple, or with additions cooked in?

Generally pure and simple, with powdered sugar instead of syrup for me. I really hate soggy bread-related foods. I do enjoy some chocolate chips dropped in every once in awhile, though.

3. For breakfast or for dinner?

Breakfast.

4. Preferred syrup or other topping? How about the best side dish?

Oops - jumped ahead. Powdered sugar for me (see above comment regarding sogginess), but syrup for Beloved. Beloved loves bacon with any breakfast food; I'm not so keen on it. Pancakes alone is fine with me. Oh - and coffee. Always coffee.

5. Favorite pancake restaurant?

Nothing pops to mind, though I did have really, really good Pumpkin Pancakes at IHOP once.

For sheer entertainment value, though, I loved the Pannekuchen restaurants in St. Paul, where you ordered these huge souffle-like pancakes and, when the waiters brought them out, they had to announce, "PANNEKUCHEN!" in this sing-songy Disney voice. Very It's A Small World After All. Probably totally humiliating for the waiters.

Bonus: Any tasty recipes out there, for pancakes or other special breakfast dishes? Bring 'em on!

I do have a great Pumpkin Scone recipe, but it's at home and I'm at work. I'll try to remember to post it later.

quote of the day

I've been terrible about reading blogs in the month of December, so consequently I missed out on a lot of great Advent and Christmas stuff. In trying to catch up, I found this gem over at Sarcastic Lutheran:

Elizabeth: Barren and pregnant. One of God’s favorite ways to prove that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts. God’s ways are not our ways…continually transgressing our polite family values. Elizabeth barren and pregnant. Mary common and favored. This is the transgressive fecundity of God. Willing life where there is no life. Making a way where there is no way. Messing with all of us in the way that only true mercy can do.

Read the whole post here. Well said, Nadia.

which raises us above the beasts that perish

The buying of more books than one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching toward infinity - and it is this which raises us above the beasts that perish. - A. E. Newton

This is my favorite quote. It assures me of two things: one, that my inordinate book buying is actually a virtue; and two, at least according to whoever A. E. Newton is, that I will never die.

So, having neatly solved the problem of my personal mortality, I have decided to dust off some of those shelves and get reading. I am, in fact, not only an inordinate book-buyer, but the same kind of reader. And yet, over the last year in particular, I simply have not read nearly as many books as I used to. I'll chalk this up to a year of constant transition, moving, change, etc. - and the fact that, for about six months, I lived apart from my books and could only check out two at a time with my temporary library card. (This was, by the way, the only truly horrifying result of moving. Fortunately temporary.)

Having kicked off the year with a good stretch of vacation, I've finished one book already, one I had read years ago but wanted to read again. The Cider House Rules, being primarily about an abortionist, is perhaps an odd choice for someone facing fertility challenges to read. On the other hand, I think it's a remarkable book. Not quite as fantastic as my personal Irving favorite, A Prayer for Owen Meany, but still great.

So I'm off to a roaring start. Next up: I'm halfway through Breaking Clean, by Judy Blunt. Amazing. I am SO not a Montana farm girl.

Happy reading.

digging out

It's been quite awhile since I blogged anything, for various reasons. One, it snowed a ridiculously uncommon amount here in New Green City this year, which essentially shut down the place for the week before Christmas. I do love snow days. They rearrange my brain into childlike glee. But they also wreak havoc on the pre-Christmas church calendar.

So we have been digging out from the snow, for one, and then from vacation - a week off after Christmas, in the beautiful sun down south. My brain feels like it has been a Snow Day for the last three weeks, which is really hard to recover from on a Tuesday morning.

I do feel as if I'm digging out in other ways as well. Over Christmas, I heard about two new pregnancies, one of which threw me into a fairly significant funk for a few days. We are preparing for a visit with the doctor in a few weeks and will likely begin preparations for in-vitro, and while I am thrilled about that on the one hand, I am terrified on the other, and bewildered that we have actually gotten to this point.

Meanwhile, there are phone and email messages to be returned, a desk surface to find, mail to be read, calendars to be organized, and an Easter liturgy to be chosen. Time to get on with it.

coming up for air

Well, I was really hoping to do some thoughtful Advent-related posting this month.

Yeah. Not going to happen.

Christmas preparations taking over.

Sermon to write. Snowed in all week. Gotta run.

Peace to all.

yet another reason why I *heart* Jon Stewart

I don't know how to link to a clip from last night's show, but if you haven't seen his conversation with Mike Huckabee, go to Comedy Central's website and watch it. "If you're so convinced that marriage is the bedrock of society, why wouldn't you want more people to be able to buy into it?"

Good question. Followed by many, many more, and some seriously great biblical zingers to boot.

I love him.

an american christmas

Received a Christmas card this afternoon.

On the front: slightly cheesy, but nonetheless earnest, Standard Nativity Scene.

Inside: wishes from senders for "peace, hope, and love."

On the back: "this card produced by the National Rifle Association of America." Which, apparently, wishes you peace, hope, love, and a big ol' handgun in case the first three don't work out.

Am not sure whether to laugh or throw up.

credo confuso

This Advent season, we are using a 'new' (as in, unknown to me) version of the Creed. I'm guessing it was written by someone in this congregation.

It has a lot of accurate points. Basically good theology (with a few exceptions). I don't mind the fact that we change the words, even though I think both the Apostles and Nicene Creeds are perfectly good, because it is good to make yourself really think about what you're saying, and sometimes a change from the familiar does just that.

But basically, I hate this creed.

You can tell it was written by someone who really wanted to meld 'change' and 'tradition,' and unfortunately ended up with 'awkward.' It is not the Reese's Peanut Butter of creeds, the kind where old chocolate meets new peanut butter in a creamy, sweet, slightly salty, melt-in-your mouth perfection of taste explosions.

Excuse me while I go get a peanut butter cup, apparently.

No, this combination of new and old is more like Joan Rivers after plastic surgery. With apologies to Mr. President-Elect, not all change is good.

However, despite having a deep love of liturgy, I have very few resources for new creeds. Does anyone have a suggestion for me?

I'll just sit here and eat this peanut butter cup for awhile.

Friday Five: Advent Longings

Sally at RevGals writes,

And yet our shops and stores and often our lives are caught up in a world that looks very much like the one of ancient Rome, where we worship at the shrine of consumerism....


Advent on the other hand calls us into the darkness, a time of quiet preparation, a time of waiting, and re-discovering the wonder of the knowledge that God is with us. Advent's call is to simplicity and not abundance, a time when we wait for glorious light of God to come again...


Christ is with us at this time of advent, in the darkness, and Christ is coming with his light- not the light of the shopping centre, but the light of love and truth and beauty.



What do you long for this advent? What are your hopes and dreams for the future? What is your prayer today?
In the vein of simplicity I ask you to list five advent longings....


I should list things like world peace, and the end of global poverty and AIDS, and a healthier, ethical economy, and indeed I do pray for those things. However, seeing as I am not currently in the running for Miss America...

Honestly, I only long for one thing. Anyone who has read this blog will probably know what it is. But today's query is poignant, because overnight a dear, wonderful blogging friend gave birth to a daughter. She and her husband, like Beloved and I, had a long struggle with infertility. It just so happens that the name they had already chosen for their daughter is the same as the name I have dreamt about for a long time.

So today, there is a beautiful (well, I haven't seen photos yet, but of course!), beloved girl in the world with my daughter's name. And she is not my daughter.

As delighted and truly, truly happy as I am for my friend, all my joy over other people's children is always tinged with sadness.

I long for a child. There is nothing else on my list.

gaaaahhhh

I love my in-laws. Really.

But if I get more more freaking email from them about some petition to help prevent banning Christians from the airwaves, or help put prayer 'back' in schools, or put flags on every surface that manages to keep still for five seconds, I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND.

I did finally, at this last "aak! they're trying to take pastors off the airwaves! the athiests are taking over and soon they will eat your children!" email, inform them of the value of www.snopes.com. Hopefully in a gentle manner.

What I really wanted to say was, "your email informs me that there is someone who would like to ban Joel Osteen from the airwaves. To that person, I say, BRAVO."

But I refrained. Barely.

good movie, good book, good documentary

It's a trifecta: three excellent, unique, wonderful, totally absorbing works of art.

The movie: The Visitor, featuring Richard Jenkins (one of those actors I think of as That Guy I Totally Recognize From A Whole Bunch of Movies But I Can't Think of Any Of Them, Why Can't I Think of Them, It's Driving Me Nuts). It's a very quiet film, and it takes a bit to get into it, but it's absolutely worth that initial patience. See it.

The book: 84 Charing Cross Road, by Helene Hanff. How had I never heard of this book? "Charming" is an overused word, but there is no better one for this book. If you, like me, are an Official Inveterate Reader, I suspect you'll love it. Super short. (Good for pastors in Advent.) And delightful. Read it.

The documentary: The Rape of Europa, which I got sucked into on PBS a few nights ago and was completely worth the Early Morning Crankiness as a result of staying up too late in order to finish watching it. I had heard, once upon a time, a little bit about the amazing work of sneaking art out of the hands of the Nazis, and about the vast art collections of Hitler and his cronies. But this story, not only about stealing art, and how it survived, and what is still missing, is amazing. Watch it.

And a tentative fourth recommendation: The Madonnas of Leningrad, which I am borrowing from my niece, and which intrigued me because of its connection to the documentary above. Interwoven with a woman's memories of helping preserve the contents of the Hermitage is her current struggle with dementia. Most of the time, the struggle with dementia or Alzheimers is told from the perspective of the caregiver. This one comes from the voice and mind of the woman losing both. Heartbreaking, and lovely.

the body of Christ, given for you, and yes, my hair is different

One of the things I find difficult about parish ministry is the level of attention. I completely understand why people sometimes just want to come to church and sit in the back and leave before coffee hour - yes, sometimes that is a cry for help and should be attended to, but you know what? Sometimes you just don't want a lot of attention.

If you are a pastor and you get a fairly dramatic haircut, you get a lot of attention. The problem is, you can't do anything about that. Except never cut your hair or change its style in any way, which is a solution too dramatic for me. I like a little change once in awhile. I just don't need four hundred and twenty-four people commenting on said change.

My very, very (naturally) curly hair has been an object of much discussion while I have been at Still Quite New Congregation. Seriously. Nine months in, and I still get some comment almost every Sunday: "is that natural? You're so lucky! It's so curly!" And my personal favorite, from a junior high kid: "my grandma says you have the curliest hair of anyone she's ever met." Thanks, kid.

So, as you are gathering, I got my hair cut about two weeks ago. On a Saturday. And the next day, it was as if there was nothing else to talk about in the world. "It's so short! It's really cute! Boy, that's really different!" (My least favorite: the usher who said, "hi, Butch." What the hell does that mean? Should I be offended? Not sure. Let it go.)

I did notice two distinct trajectories. One: the women noticed and commented frequently. (I realize this next bit is a little gender-biased; not trying to enter sexual politics here, just noting my experience.) Even if all they did was comment about how short it was, they commented.

And two: the men mostly noticed, but didn't comment. Not out loud, anyway. Mostly they looked at me like, "something is different, but I'm not sure if I should say anything about it." This happened a lot during communion distribution. So much so that I briefly considered (not really) saying as each puzzled-looking guy received the bread, "this is the body of Christ, given for you, and yes, my hair is different."

I bet St. Paul never had to deal with any of this crap. I mean sure, he had the whole "thorn in the flesh" thing, but I'm guessing that was not a coded reference to the fact that people were overreacting to his snazzy new 'do.

do I put my loaves and fishes on the "bountiful harvest" platter, or the "taste and see that the Lord is good" cake plate?

All I wanted to do was insert a link for Feasting on the Word, the fabulous commentary mentioned in the post below.

What is a 21st century pastor to do? Google it.

And so Google, in all its wisdom, gave me several options. One was for the book itself, available through Cokesbury or amazon.com.

But the other, actually the first one at the top of the page, was equally intriguing:

"Feasting on the Word Christian Gift Dinnerware," it said, "developed as a way of getting God’s Word in front of people—on their tables—to aid in the process of meditating on God’s Word."

What is a 21st century pastor to do with that? Click it, baby. (You know you want to. Voila.)

I would like to believe that the makers of said dinnerware are genuinely faithful people who want to contribute some goodness to the world. I was going with this theory until I saw the "prosperity place setting," which, among other pieces, includes a bread and butter plate with the verse, "God gives power to get wealth so that He may establish His covenant."

Okay.

Sometimes, all you can do is quote the great Homer Simpson: "Jesus must be rolling over in his grave."

(I do have to say, however, that I was surprised and delighted to read the verse on the "patriotic collection mug": "Pursue Peace." From Leviticus, of all places.)