summer school

Summer does teach you stuff, mostly outside the classroom.

For instance, today I learned that, although I have a four-year Master's degree followed by quite a bit of continuing education and, although I can write fairly well, and although I can gather a lot of information about church history for a future teaching opportunity (by the way, here's what I learned from my dive into church history today: Christians are SERIOUSLY messed up) -

in spite of all this, I cannot, for the life of me, correctly operate the sprinkler in our front yard. After 20 minutes, I have managed to water a.) much of the sidewalk; b.) my shorts; c.) my shoes; and d.) about 10 percent of the lawn.

There's a reason I'm not the primary yard-worker in this house, that's all I'm saying.

Laugh it up, stupid sprinkler. I will not accept defeat so easily. I will return and FIGURE YOU OUT, or, more accurately, I will SEND MY HUSBAND OUT THERE because he actually knows what he's doing. And then I will read a book. AND LAUGH AT YOU, STUPID SPRINKLER. Now, please excuse me while I go change into dry pants. HA HA HA HA HA.