the facts of my life

I just finished a conversation with a representative from the "Wo.men of Faith" conference coming to our area in the next few weeks. (Yes, that weird punctuation was on purpose; keeps this post from popping up in searches for the name.) She had called to make an appointment and, while this is normally the sort of thing I avoid like the plague, I had a feeling it would be easier to meet for fifteen minutes and get it over with rather than dodge her phone calls for the next six weeks.

I never know what to do about stuff like this. How do I say to Super Chipper Christian Lady (who is WAY too happy for this time of the morning, by the way), "Well, you have lovely brochures and I'm sure That Lady Who Used to Be On Facts of Life is very entertaining and all, but your organization is coming from a COMPLETELY different place theologically and I really don't have the energy to undo all the theological crap you're working on there, so no, I don't plan to send anyone"?

That would probably solve the whole Too Chipper thing, though.

Anyway. I did tell her, after she talked about how 1300 women "made a decision for Christ" at their Cleveland event, that our congregation represented quite a different theological perspective and so I wouldn't be comfortable sponsoring a group from the church. ("We don't really do the 'decision for Christ' thing," is what I said, and I have to admit that it was a bit entertaining to watch her head nearly spin right off.) She assured me that this is an inter-denominational organization and that they don't focus on the things that divide us, but what unites us - "so we talk a lot about Jesus," she said, which is great, except that I'm pretty sure the Jesus you're talking about is not exactly the same as the one I know, and that's where I hit the problem.

Because I don't want to be a theological snob, turning up my nose at all the hoi polloi who can't manage to think as deeply and with as much complexity as I so obviously can. It seems a little bit wrong to decry the intolerance of others while demonstrating total intolerance yourself.

But I don't think that she and I are talking about the same image of Jesus, and I do think that matters. There's no need to be mean about it, but I also don't need to smile and say nothing and leave her believing that I'll round up a whole crew of women and show up at the conference with bells on.

(On a side note: did you know that this organization was founded by a man who used to work with Prom.ise Kee.pers and thought there needed to be something like that for women? AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.)

So. I thought this was going to be the most complicated theological moment of my morning, until I got a phone call from the daughter of a parishioner, explaining that her 81-year old mother's dog had just been 'put to sleep' by the 94-year old neighbor without permission: said neighbor felt the dog was suffering (and the dog did, in fact, have cancer) but said mother is upset because her dog is dead and her friend did it and so they are coming in to talk with me shortly.

What do you have to say on THAT one, Facts of Life Lady? Yeah. Me neither.