Friday Five: The Fork in the Road

Singing Owl writes,

I am at a life-changing juncture. I do not know which way I will go, but I have been thinking about the times, people and events that changed my life (for good or ill) in significant ways. For today's Friday Five, share with us five "fork-in-the-road" events, or persons, or choices. And how did life change after these forks in the road?

I thought about how to approach this question - on the one hand, it's hard to think of five specific things, but then again, it's hard to think of less than fifty - and I decided to go backward in time. So here's my list, starting with the most recent and working through to the one that probably started it all. And what I've found, thinking about each one, is that they began with a very mundane moment. That moment is what I think of as the 'fork.' The rest comes down the road.

1. A persistent radio commercial.
When Beloved and I were in the process of moving to New City - as in, when I was living here and he was living in Old City - I commuted to work about 30 minutes each way. Early on, I started hearing a radio commercial for a particular fertility clinic in the area. I had been meaning to get a second opinion, and that damn commercial just kept airing, so I finally called one day, made an appointment, and found my very wonderful doctor. Given how far we've come along the treatment process since then, I think of that ridiculously persistent commercial as a particularly providential fork.

2. A phone call in the downstairs church kitchen.
I was downstairs with the quilters when the phone rang during lunchtime. Since the secretary was out, I decided to answer it (frankly, I think I might have been fleeing a particularly chatty quilter at the time). It turned out to be my now-colleague, calling to see if I would be interested in a position in his congregation. Took me completely by surprise. Six weeks later, I had an interview. Three weeks after that, I had a call in hand. Two weeks after that, I told my congregation I was leaving. None of which were anywhere on my radar when I answered the phone in the downstairs kitchen.

3. Meeting for a coffee at Starbucks.
About six years ago, I met a colleague for coffee at Starbucks one day. For the life of me, I have no memory of why we were there, but what I do remember was his offhand question right before we were done: "hey, are you dating anyone?" And then he told me about this friend of his who knew this guy that I might like, and maybe we could all do a group-date-thing sometime, and I said "sure," because frankly, my love life was complete crap so why not try something different. It took nearly nine months to meet said "friend." To whom I became engaged seven months later, married five months after that, and here we are.

4. A conversation with mom in the car.
I don't have a particularly dramatic call story. The earliest part of it shows up in the final 'fork,' below. At this point in the story, I had made the decision to go to seminary - primarily through the persistent encouragement of others. It was the summer before my junior year in college, and I was home, working at the bakery as I had for a few summers before this. My mom and I had gone - somewhere, to the grocery store maybe? - and we were in the car on the way home. I remember with perfect clarity the hill we were on when I turned to her and said, "I think I'm going to go to seminary and be a pastor."

My parents were (and are) extremely active church people, so this wasn't an out-of-body experience for my mom (though she did tell me years later that she was quite surprised, but she tried to hide it so I wouldn't think she was unsupportive). For me, though, it felt like the first time my call was real. Saying it out loud, to my mom, was a whole new level. Of all the moments involved in my call story, that one feels like the biggest 'fork in the road' to me.

5. It all comes back to an offhand comment after Sunday School when I was 15.
Sunday morning youth group. I'm 15. I have a huge crush on our youth pastor, who was fresh out of seminary and looked like Tom Cruise (so I thought; Top Gun had come out two years before and I loved Tom Cruise). Harmless teenage stuff. One day, after bible study was over, I was walking across the fellowship hall and said pastor shouted after me, "Hey, Shalom! You should think about being a pastor."

I did not take this seriously. AT ALL. Mostly, I was flattered that he thought I could do what he did, but I had no interest in it. I really had no idea what pastors did, anyway. Didn't they just hang around the church all day? How interesting could that be?

It took five more years before that particular fork in the road became clear. Without it, there would be no conversation with my mom in the car; no Starbucks chat about 'the guy' I might like; no phone call in the downstairs kitchen; no move to the New City and consequent interest in the fertility clinic. There would be a different road, of course, and it might have been great too. But this one is pretty damn good. Fun to look back and see how we got here.