losing is a disease

If you've ever seen The Natural (and, if you haven't, you should), you'll recognize that title from the smarmy consultant who comes to talk with Roy Hobbes' pitiful teammates at the lowest point of their season. "Losing...is a disease," he says, as the scene is inter-cut with examples of the team's inept play.

If losing is a disease, then every team I've followed in my life is terminal. Let's check it out, shall we?

• The Seattle Mariners are the first team to have spent $100 million on payroll and lost 100 games in a season.

• The Seattle SuperSonics were sold to Oklahoma City by their relatively new owner, the King of Smarmy (otherwise known in town as He Who Shall Not Be Named).

• The Seahawks are 2-7.

• The University of Washington Huskies are having a perfect season, 0-11. Having just lost the only game they stood any chance in hell of winning, last Saturday, to their cross-state rivals.

• However, said cross-state rivals, the Washington State Cougars, are only slightly less inept, at 2-10, having been routed by as much as 69 points in earlier games.

Obviously, there are much more important problems in the world. This is just an awful lot of losing in one calendar year. Seems a bit like a microcosm of other things - the more important ones. The agony of defeat just isn't any fun, even when it's something as relatively unimportant as sports.


*Yes, the photo is of "that 'Agony of Defeat' guy" from ABC's Wide World of Sports.